Persistence

So how in the world does a person get through all this when all they want to do sometimes is throw in the towel?

PERSISTENCE!

I've found that being persistent is key. It's not easy but if you stay persistent things tend to work themselves out.

A great example of persistence is found in the Bible when Jesus is trying to teach the disciples the importance of always praying and not giving up. Needless to say, it's been my "go to" scripture here lately.

Luke 18:1-8

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'

4 "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "

6 And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

What a great example of what persistence looks like! So much so, that Jesus uses this story to teach the disciples a lesson.

But maybe we should also pay attention to the last sentence in that scripture.

It says...

However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?

I think that also is a lesson in itself. That we should have more faith than what we sometimes have. The amount of faith it takes to remain persistent and always pray for something or someone we so strongly care about.

I believe with all my heart Jesus knew how easy it would be for the disciples to get discouraged and want to give up when He would eventually leave them. What a great example he used to teach them a valuable lesson in being persistent and remaining faithful.

It's something I believe can help you keep going when you feel like giving up.

Nightmares and Dreamscapes

This week has been really rough.

We are back in the hospital for what will make a full week today. Emily started having her "big seizures" at home last Monday and we ended up back in the ER which then led to a week long stay. Which also then led into surgery (G-tube placement), a Lumbar Puncture (Spinal Tap), another MRI, Starting the Ketogenic diet and another EEG.

Isn't that enough already??

But to make matters worse we got the results of her MRI and it's not good. Emily's brain is in atrophy. Which means that it's shrinking. Or another possibility is that her skull is growing and her brain is not. The neurologist seems to think it's not that her brain isn't keeping up with her skull but that it's in atrophy.

Look up what brain atrophy means and you can guess how I'm feeling right now.

But that doesn't mean we are giving up or losing faith.

We still have a few little pieces of hope to hang on to. Our neurologist wants us to get a second opinion at the Cleveland Clinic but first we have to wait about a month to see if the ketogenic diet helps any so that we don't waste our time when we go to Cleveland.

So what we can still hope for is...

1.) That the ketogenic diet works and starts working fast.

and

2.) That our visit in Cleveland results in more answers and possible treatments.

As long as we still have either one of those two possibilities to hang on to we are going to hang on to them for dear life!

This week has been the most overwhelming period for us since we started this journey back in December. It's hard to sit back and watch this happen to your princess and just feel so helpless. It's been a nightmare as you can imagine but somehow, someway God has given us the strength to make it "just one more day".

I was reading my Bible last night when I just "happened" to read these words in Isaiah.

Isaiah 63:9 (NIV)

In all their distress he too was distressed,
and the angel of his presence saved them.
In his love and mercy he redeemed them;
he lifted them up and carried them
all the days of old.

When I read that I felt like the Lord was telling me that we aren't alone in this. That although it feels like our backs are up against the wall and we are at the end of our ropes we can take comfort in knowing that He is right there with us.

That no matter how ugly this journey might get or how many nightmares we encounter along the way He too feels distressed when we feel that way. He feels our pain and he agonizes with us!

And that is truly the only way you can have any sort of peace about you in a mess like this. To walk with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

It's been a very rough week and I'm scared out of my mind for my little princess but I know there is one who loves her more than I could ever love her (as hard as that is to imagine). And all I can do is trust and have faith in Him.